honeychild’s blog

Whatever happened to just taking things slow and wanting to get to know a person? When did having a few online chats, text messages, 1 date,  followed quickly by sex become the norm?

Is that how it works nowadays, go from step 1  to 3/4  while bypassing step 2 completely??

What happened to good old fashion courtship and romance? Are the days of talking over?

Yep, I'm talking about a recent experience of mine (apart from the sex part - thankfully or I think I might have deeply regretted it)

About a month ago I joined a dating site, I was curious as to what the fuss was all about and as a singleton I thought 'Why the hell not?'.  I was neither surprised or disappointed by what I experienced on it, but I only lasted about a week LOL.

Within that short week I swapped a few emails with some guys, as well as 1 woman O_o and received a few compliments and positive feedback about my profile.  Two of the guys I had chatted to on the website moved onto chatting via instant messages on MSN. Wayhayy thought I. All was going ok, and the pair of them seemed quite very different in their approaches.

Now, the one I have had the date with (whom I shall call M), was quite persistant in his pursuing of me. He was very straightforward, and to the point. It kind of took me aback a little, but I got used to. There was the online chat, sexual innuendo flying around, giggles and so on and so on, but he did come across as a little pushy. Now, fine, I can cope with that and the straight forwardness (I have a tendency to do that myself sometimes), but there was once or twice that it made me uncomfortable (and which I shall not disclose here).

At some point we swapped (decent!) pictures and arranged to meet up for a date. I admit I wasn't overly interested in him that much, but I thought I'd go just to say I had been and met the guy.

I found that I was pleasantly surprised! He was different from what I was expecting. He wasn't as pushy as he was online, he was quite gentlemanly, witty and generally nice. But I still just thought he was ok enough.  We left the meeting place and went to the car and sat and talked for awhile and before I knew it we were kissing and canoodling! Gah. LOL. Now THAT I never expected. Hell I didn't even realise that I liked him enough for that kinda stuff hee hee. But, again he was nice and told me that we'd better stop unless I wanted it to go too far for 1st date (and I admit that by that point I DID kind of want that, but not... if you know what I mean?) so we talked of seeing each other again sometime in the week.

I went home a happy bunny.

So, we arranged to see each other on Tuesday but that fell apart as he had to work late, so it was rearranged for Thursday. Again, that fell apart. so, he mentioned Friday (yesterday) and meeting in the evening. Now, this 'meeting up' was more like meeting him and bringing him back to my place for you know what, but I'd had a week to think about it...and wasn't sure that it was the right thing to do. Heh, give me too much time to think and I'll forget how I felt. And that is what happened.

Yesterday, it all fell apart.  We discussed (via text) what time to meet, and I asked an innocent question of whether he wanted to go get food 1st before coming to mine. The reply was not what I expected and confused the bejesus out of me.

But it doesn't matter now, because I've realised that we both (probably) want different things in different ways.

There are a few things that I haven't mentioned here, stuff that fills the spaces in, but they are for me and only me to know. I've learnt a couple of valuable lessons, I've refound my missing bit of self esteem via his interest in me (which I still do believe he had) and I can now stand up and say 'I'm worth MORE than just a quick roll in the hay.' I am worth getting to know better and having my time sought and lets face it, if a person REALLY wanted to get to know me, they would.

Sex you can get anywhere, anytime, but getting to know a person takes time. I am worth taking time over.

So, IS romance dead?

Now I'm off to buff myself up a bit for my night out and put my refound realisations into practice.

Toodles

K x 

You type your name and the keyword from each question into Google, and then type the first matching result as your answer. Make sure you surround the words each time with quotation marks, so you get more accurate results. Don't be rubbish and type the second or third if you like them better... TYPE THE FIRST MATCHING RESULT!!! Up to you if you want to comment on your results as well.

1:) Type in "[your name] needs" in the Google search:
Kristina needs a two parent adoptive family
Uh huh..*eyeroll*

2:) Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search:
Kristina looks like a whole different kid

3:) Type in "[your name] does" in Google search:
Kristina does Poulenc at Eastman

4:) Type in "[your name] hates" in Google search:
Kristina hates life!
Oooh now that's a bit harsh.

5:) Type in "[your name] goes" or "..has gone" in Google search:
Kristina goes geek with her linksys
I'm not a geek...I don't think...?

6:) Type in "[your name] loves" in Google search
Kristina loves Gareth
Whoever the F**k he is O_o

7:) Type in "[your name] eats" in Google search:
Kristina eats Antonios hot load
*laughs...loudly*  Yup..porn site.

8:) Type in "[your name] has" in Google search:
Kristina has a thing for #####
But I prefer the one below that one 'Kristina has a problem'

9:) Type in "[your name] wants" in Google search:
Kristina wants to get to know you
I do I do!

10:) Type in "[your name] likes" in Google search:
Kristina likes a stiff poke in her hot sweetmeat
*chokes*  ok, this wasn't the 1st one, but the 1st one wouldn't have started with my name (it said 'videos kristina likes on Vimeo' so I reckon it doesn't count.

11:) Type in "[your name] drinks" in Google search:
Kristina drinks Absinthe
(actually this one says 'Kristina's drinks' and then absinthe, but hey *shrugs*)

12:) Type in "[your name] is" in Google search:
Kristina is kool with a k's photostream
uh huh... I have to say I personally prefer the one below which says 'Kristina is dangerous with a shaver' LMAO

13:) Type in "[your name] must" in Google search:
Kristina must NEVER become pregnant again
LOL I don't remember a first time!

Stole from Ben at wordpress.

RULES:

1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.

2. For each question, press the “next” button to get your answer.

3. WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.

4. Do or do not.  No tag, no pressure.

IF SOMEONE SAYS “ARE YOU OKAY?” YOU SAY?
"Do You Love Me"  The Contours

 HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
“Bright Eyes” Simon and Garfunkel
Though not today I haven't...LOL

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
"Grazed Knees"  Snow Patrol
Okaaaayyyyy...

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
“The End"  Nancy Sinatra
Hah!

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
"Silent Warrior"  Enigma
*chokes*  sounds like it could be a disease.

WHAT’S YOUR MOTTO?
“Some Kind of Wonderful"  The Drifters
Yeh...that fits ok

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
“Summer Rain"  Belinda Carlisle
Figures really, it's the only time I'm not grumpy in the heat of summer heh

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
“Un Bel Di, Vedremo"  (translates as "One Fine Day, We will see") from Madame Butterfly (Puccini)
Hmmmf  probably think of me as madame rather than the butterfly...

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
“Closer" Kings of Leon
Gah. Do NOT...

WHAT IS 2 + 2?
"O, mio babbino caro" (translates as O my dear papa") from Gianni Schicchi (Puccini)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
“Gleaming Auction"  Snow Patrol
HAH! We like shopping...and shiny things.

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
“Samhain Night" Loreena Mckennitt

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
“Everything is Good for You"  Crowded House
I DO want everything to be good for you, even chocolate cake etc but I don't want to be a crowded house.

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
“Calico Skies"  Paul McCartney
Hah! Not so much the skies but the lyrics might fit in places

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
“Supermassive Black hole" Muse
*chokes on laughter* Yup that would be about it!

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
"Dare"  Gorillaz
hahahahah  a dare too far perhaps?

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
“Dreams"  The Corrs
heh, yep..

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
“You Wouldn't Know Love" Cher
ooooh OUCH. Yes dammit. Grrr

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
“Hurricane" Natalia Imbruglia
Oh, I wouldn't say it was a secret...it kind of announces itself...

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
“What you do with what you've got"  Eddie Reader
well, do you suppose that's a hint?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
“An Raibh Tu Ag An Gcarraig"  (translates as "Were You at the Rock" )  Sissel

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
“Freak on a Leash" Korn

I bought a new cd the other day by The Script and I really like it, but I fell in love with a song as soon as I heard it and to be honest, it made me cry as the lyrics blew me away and really touched a nerve. Not good when I'm in my car and sat in traffic LOL

So I thought I would share it with you if you've not already heard it (and if it works hee hee)

001. Real name – Kristina
002. Nickname(s) - Honey, Bernie
003. Status – single
004. Zodiac sign – Cancer
005. Male or female – Yup, female
006. Religion - Krissie religion LOL
007. Elementary – my dear??
008. Middle School - I went to one...
009. High School – bleh
010. Hair color – reddish blonde (correct term is strawberry blonde I think hee hee)
011. Eye color – Dunno grey/bluey greeny stuff
012. Loud or Quiet – Depends on how I feeel or how good they are heh
013. Sweats or Jeans - Both have their place but jeans are the bestest
014. Phone or Camera - I love my camera
015. Health freak - *laughs hysterically*  yeh, that's me...health freak  *snorts*
016. Favorite Physical Quality – Ummm my hair and tits probably
017. Do you have a crush on someone? - Nope
019. Piercing – 4
020. Tattoos - Just the 1
021. Water or Fire – Both
022. Love of your life or 4 Billion Dollars - Love
023. First fear – not being good enough.
024. First best friend – Schmoo moo the Smokey cat
025. First award – hmm probably some rosette or other for horse riding as a small kiddie
026. First crush – oooh gosh...er a boy called matthew at primary school I think
027. First pet – Thumper the bunny
028. Car trip - *shrugs*
029. First big birthday – I have no memory of any
030. Siblings- 1
033. Favorite Dessert - ice cream
034. Favorite toy in your house – *ahem* define 'toy'...
035. Ring? - Now are we talking ring for fingers or arse 'ring'??? If it's fingers then I have 2 rings but I only have 1 arsehole... :P
036. Favorite Season - oooooooh Spring
037. Favorite Flower(s) – I like most flowers but wild ones are my faves
038. Favorite Spice - garlic
039. Pancakes or Waffles – pancakes probably
040. Left- or Right-handed - Right handed
041. Virgin? I'm born again I think. It sure has been a while  *sigh*
042. How many relationships have you been in? - Just the one.
043. Silver or Gold? Silver
044. Checkers or Chess? Chess
045. Desktop or laptop?- laptop
046. Ever been Out of the country? - Yeh
047. Where? Spain, france, Italy, Tunisia
048. Big City or Small town? - Small Town
049. Favorite Food type - mexican
050. Favorite Drink – White rum and coke
051. Dogs or Cats – Catssssss
052. I'm about to – go to bed
053. Listening to – my bed shouting my name
054. Plans for today – Um...bed....
055. Waiting for - bed
056. Your Height- short
057. Contacts or Glasses - Both
058. Want kids?- Not right now thanks, I'm full.
059. Want to get married? - Not particularly
060. Careers in mind – Nah
061. Rain or Snow - Rain definitley
062. Gloves or Mittens - I prefer to go without but if the hands get cold then it has to be gloves
063. Favorite Girl's Name – Elena
064. Favorite Boy's Name – Michael
065. Believe in Magic? - oh yes
066. Soda, Pop, or Coke? - I dunno, pop?
067. Brain or Brawn? - Brain
068. Prefer Lips or eyes – The eyes say it all
069. Great body or great Personality? Personality of course.
070. Do you want to be Shorter or taller? ooh just a little bit taller. I AM a shortarse
071. Do you want to initiate the relationship or him/her?- *snorts*   Chance of either would be nice
072. Romantic or spontaneous - both
073. Nice stomach or nice arms – I don't care
074. Sensitive or loud – Sensitive
075. Hook-up or relationship – relationship
076. Should you be friends first or date first? - I prefer friends first but hey I'd date first right now LOL
077. Trouble maker or hesitant – Ooooh I'm a good girl! Ok ok... I can do both
078. Chivalry or not? - Chivalry
079. Favorite Board Game – Don't have one
080. Lost glasses/contacts – nope
081. Ran away from home – nope
082. Held a gun/knife for defense? - Er no
083. Killed someone? - Huh? No.
084. Heartbroken – No
085. Been arrested – no
086. Done anything illegal - Kind of...
087. Cried when someone died – yes
088. Cried by yourself – yes
089. Laughed til you cried? - Oh yeh, most of the bloody time and really at times when I shouldn't
090. Believe in Miracles? – yes
091. Believe in Love at first sight? - *shrugs* I'll let you know if it happens
092. Heaven – is what you make it to be
093. Santa Claus - what about him?
094. Say 'I Love you' on the first date – HAHAHAHAHAH WTF?
095. Sex on the first date - Nah
096. Hold hands on the first date – Yeh I could do that
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now – No
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life – about 70% yeh
099. Do you believe in God?- No, not the Bible version. But I do believe in something 'other'
100, is anybody going to take this from you?- I really don't give a shit lol

So Christmas is over (finally?) and 2009 is winging it's way here. I'm looking forward to '09, but then I was looking forward to '08 and see how that was LOL. Actually, I shouldn't say that like '08 was bad, as it wasn't. Far from. I enjoyed it (in places), my own place for instance...that was VERY good *big grin* but the emotional rollercoaster was something huge. And necessary.

All the things (which were quite small and insignificant on their own)  culminated in that one point of existence and made me face that which had evaded me for so long.  Regrets about it? Nah. It made me stronger, happier and sooooo much better hee hee.  It's still a work in progress but hey, it took 16 years to face it so I don't think it's going to be done in a day or 365 days...ummm...hahahahhaha

Sooooo, I wonder what '09 has in store for me. The unknown is quite exciting right now, but then so is the known.

I have a holiday booked already for early May time. I shall be visiting Scotland (again) but by myself as I am going on a drawing and painting holiday. YAYYYYYY!  *squees in excitement*   I can't waaaaait! Heeeeee!

It's at a small coastal villiage in Abdeenshire (beauuuuuutiful surroundings) and I will be staying in a shared house for a week with complete strangers. There will 3 studios to use, 1 of which will be open 24hrs a day, so if I find I can't sleep I shall go paint LOL. I will be able to do what I wants when I wants *big grin* uh...of course...I guess some things might not be polite...like wandering around nekkid...that wouldn't be good LOL.

Now we get to New Years resolutions. As a rule I don't bother with these things, but for next year I have promised me, myself and I, that I will look after myself better. I also intend to have more fun(what kind of fun is up to me lol), now how I get those 2 to work fully together, I don't know lol, but I shall surely try :D

So that's that. Oooooh on a goooood note (and the only one) about Christmas, was that I received £30 of book vouchers! WOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO! Boooks booooks boooks! I lurrrrrrve you bookssssss!

Hee heeee pipsky....

Ok, so these past couple of weeks have seen me trying (in vain) to hold onto my (very small, almost microscopic) christmas spirit. Alas, I have failed this mission miserably (or not...?).

I am NOT a christmas person (as you may be able to tell by my lack of capital letters for Christmas. This is actually a mistake, but I just can't be arsed to rectify it) and I never really have been. Ok, as a child I guess (what little I remember) I must have liked something (*ahem* the presents...?) about it, but as an adult I fail to see the pleasure.

Unless you are a religious person who has a belief in Jesus Christ that is.

Obviousley I must be lacking a VERY important ingredient in the Christmas spirit bowl and each year sees me strive to find it and each time I fail. Maybe it would be different if I had kids of my own, but as this is not so (or likely to be) I must look elsewhere. I know of other people who don't have kids of their own, and they are as excited as bounding puppies regarding the forth coming festivities.

So what it is it about Christmas that is not available at any other time of year? (Note: religious reasons I understand so no need to state those :)   ) Why am I filled with dread (and boredom) at this time of year? Is it just because of the over-commercialisation (?? word?) of it that makes me dislike it? Am I a natural Bah-humbugging grinch?

I have a christmas tree (about as microscopic as my spirit LOL) and while it cheerfully flashes it's lights of madness (ooooh purrrrtyyyy...) I just think to the day it gets shoved back in it's little box and stashed in the cupboard for another year. I'm looking forward to the day that the cheesy christmas songs, that have been played relentlessly for the past 3 weeks, are archived until next time.

I don't like to be called a humbug etc (and I am by some) but I just fail to feel festive. I can't muster it up when I just look forward to it being over.

Actually, there is one thing I look forward to at this time of year, and that is the days off away from work that come with it. LOL

So come on folks, enlighten me, what is the all important ingredient I'm missing?

MERRY CHRISTMAS! (bah humbug lol)